Family Drama, 124 Minutes, 2011
Benjamin has recently lost his wife, the love of his life, to illness. Dylan, his teenage son, is a moody, artistic teenager who’s pulling away from him and having trouble at school. Rosie, his seven-year old daughter, is insanely cute, totally precocious and straight from the Hollywood breeding tanks. When Dylan is expelled the family decides to try for a new start and, almost accidentally, falls into buying a run-down zoo on the verge of losing its license.
Fantasy, 106 Minutes, 2012
This is a funny movie. Funny in that old “a teddy bear just said ‘fuck’ and mimed fellatio!” way. There’s also some of that “a teddy bear just said ‘fuck’ and smoked some weed!” and a little “hey, a teddy bear just said ‘fuck’ and gave somebody the finger!” stuff. So if you like any of those then you’ll probably like this.
Fantasy, 93 Minutes, 2012:
Pixar makes good movies. Period. At some point, I’m sure, some relatively minor decision will snowball out of control and they’ll release a steaming pile of crap. Something that will taint their good name and become the butt of jokes for an entire generation of movie fans. The Internet will rip it to shreds with perverse glee. It will be mentioned in the same breath as “Howard the Duck” [IMDB] and “Leonard Part 6” [IMDB].
“She’s Out of My League” on IMDB
Comedy, 104 Minutes, 2010
I criticize romantic comedies a lot. Sometimes I fear that I’m too harsh. Then I remember how utterly shitty most of them are and I worry that I’ve been too forgiving. The thing that most of them forget about is that falling in love is supposed to be a good thing. It also has to be the main thing. Opposites attracting are nice; fishes all up and out of water can be interesting and the fine line between love and hate can lead to some entertaining situations. Most rom-coms pluck one of these tropes off the shelf, spend all their time on it and sleep-walk through the rest.
Zombie alert!
See the review of “Corpse Bride” on our sister site, MoreBrains.com dedicated to all things zombie!
Horror, 91 Minutes, 2009
I really adore classically staged monster movies. The kind where everyday people have to deal with giant things – worms, bugs, crocodiles, lemurs, etc. Whatever they are, they’re big and they’re nasty. Classics like “Tremors” [IMDB] or “Eight-legged Freaks” [IMDB] are just plain fun. The scares tend to be more of the shock than gore variety (although there’s a little of that as well) and generally things are more family friendly.
“Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter” on IMDB
Drama, 105 Minutes, 2011
First thing first: the premise of this movie is all kinds of bobble-headed-dumbassery. The specifics are that Abraham Lincoln’s mother was killed by a vampire as revenge for a slight by his father. When he grows up and seeks revenge he’s found and trained by a vampire hunter. Apparently vampires from Europe have set up shop in the South and are using the slave trade to build power and as cover for their feeding. He moves to Springfield where he hunts and discovers a talent for politics which he uses to put an end to slavery (and thus squash the vampire empire in America).
Comedy, 81 Minutes, 2012
I love “Inept adults taking care of precocious children” movies. “Uncle Buck” [IMDB] is a highlight of both John Hughes and John Candy’s careers. “Adventures in Babysitting” [IMDB] is one of those movies that you always linger on when flipping through channels. It’s a good formula. I also like Jonah Hill [IMDB] a lot.
Comedy, 85 Minutes, 2012
Will Ferrell [IMDB] and Zach Galifianakis [IMDB] are two great tastes that clearly taste great together. I would unreservedly call both of them geniuses (although, like all geniuses they’re not always successful). Both of them (especially Galifianakis) often rely on deadpan, experimental comedy that can turn off some viewers but this is refreshingly open and laugh-out-loud funny.
Horror, 88 Minutes, 2011
Christ-on-a-cracker this was bad.
Six friends get together to tour Ireland. You can drive across the country in a few hours and anything worth seeing is surrounded by inns, pubs and absolutely no parking; so of course these geniuses rent the biggest god-damn RV they can find. We kick-off with the requisite “watch the gang having fun!” musical montage. We spend just enough time there to split off the two characters with back-stories from the generic timid girl, hot girl, dumbass guy and black guy. Then, introductions out-of-the-way, we beeline straight for the dirtiest, creepiest gypsy gas station on the whole damn island – which happens to be at the absolute ass-end of nowhere.
