Movie Review: The Conjuring

IMDB, The Conjuring“The Conjuring” on IMDB

Horror, 112 Minutes, 2013

The movie is based on the reports of noted paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren. It presents them as learned, respected and heroic. They were none of these things. None of their evidence has ever stood up to investigation, and none of their claims have ever been confirmed. Most of their cases, such as the famous Amityville Horror, have been thoroughly debunked as hoaxes and the rest are highly explainable.


Movie Review: Muppets Most Wanted

IMDB, Muppets Most Wanted“Muppets Most Wanted” on IMDB

Family, 107 Minutes, 2014

The Muppets have honed their formula to perfection in the 35 years since the original “The Muppet Movie” [my review]. There have been rough patches, but all was set right with 2011′s big-budget revival “The Muppets” [my review]. Where that film spent significant time on new characters and human relationships, this one is a return to the basics. More songs, more gags and more Muppets.


RiffTrax Live: Godzilla!

2014-08-15 09.48.54When the fine, funny people at RiffTrax decided to take their special brand of snark to theaters across the country we knew two things:

  1. They were clearly both very smart and very lazy for doing so via satellite instead of actually, you know, driving around.
  2. It was going to be insanely, amazingly awesome.

The first show,  August 20, 2009, was “Plan Nine from Outer Space” and this was followed up regularly with a small herd of super-cheese staples including “Reefer Madness”, “Manos: The Hands of Fate” and the modern, solar-powered classic, “Birdemic“. To do bigger movies, they’d need more money. Being that special combination of smart/lazy/awesome they left that part up to us. A hugely successful KickStarter campaign gave us an amazing evening with “Starship Troopers“.

So, after another successful KickStarter and nearly five years from that first show, they brought us Roland Emmerich’s 1998 character assassination of “Godzilla”. In it he accused the Big “G” of being an asexual, hermaphroditic, tunnel-crawling, no-fire-breathing, Jay Leno-looking mutated iguana. It got what it deserved and it was hilarious.

Broadcast by Fathom Events to hundreds of theaters across North America (the good America) the shows bring together thousands of fans and and some high-quality father/son time. I’ve seen “Guardians of the Galaxy“, but this – Roland-freakin’-Emmerich’s Godzilla – is still the most fun I’ve had in a theater all year.

Movie Review: Nailbiter

IMDB, Nailbiter“Nailbiter” on IMDB

Horror/Thriller, 82 Minutes, 2013

This low-budget thriller ups the ante by focusing on a trapped mother and her three daughters. She was taking the teens to pick up their father, back from an extended tour of duty in the Middle East. They’re forced to seek shelter in the basement of a nearby farm house when a tornado forces them off the road. It’s only when they try to get out that they realize their safe harbor is actually a prison; one guarded by terrible, predatory creatures.

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