Comedy/Family, 91 Minutes, 2013
Hey, kids: want to watch a completely bland, totally mediocre, computer animated family comedy! It stars famous people! It has topical references and horribly bastardizes history! It’s 90 minutes long! It’ll cost just as much as a good movie to watch, and you’ll never get the time you spent with it back!
In fact, it cost over 50 million dollars to make; that could have bought actual turkeys for over two million people! So, kids, want to watch a movie that starved millions of people? Do you? Yes, you do?!
No! *SMACK!* No you don’t! Now go to your rooms and think about how you’ve disappointed your mother and me!
