Thriller, 90 Minutes, 2009
The grunting, slobbering core of this movie is an unwieldy, multi-tentacled plot that drags itself into your living room, sits in your favorite chair and demands, “what kind of snacks you got?” It sits there eating your food and throwing what it thinks are insanely clever ideas at you for 90 minutes then gets up. That’s when you notice the smell and the movie’s core, noticing your look of disgust, admits: “By the way, I shit in your chair.”
Horror, 93 Minutes, 2010
Meh. I couldn’t get into this one. Basically it wandered around the point for a while then ended poorly.
A couple decide to get dropped off on an uninhabited island for two weeks. But – ohmygosh! – there’s a ghost on the island. How do we know that? Via the worst exposition technique ever, of course: they find an old journal detailing the only interesting events in the film. Events that we get to hear about, but not see.
The main characters are just punching-bags throughout the entire movie. They display almost no survival instinct at all. It’s like watching baby seals get clubbed. Clubbed by a ghost.
