Adventure, 114 Minutes, 2008
[This is the fifth selection in my irregular, “My Wife and Kids are Visiting Relatives and I’m Home Watching Movies” film festival.]
I picked this up solely on the reputations of Lance Henriksen [IMDB] and Danny Trejo [IMDB]. Neither is particularly known for their discerning tastes when picking roles but I’m a fan and figured, naïvely, “How bad could it be?”
Apparently it could be pretty bad. Pretty god-damned bad.
The movie wanders between plots, characters and locations like it’s late for the first day at a new job and looking for its keys. There’s a crime story, an adventure story, a horror story and about four others. They’re all terrible.
The basic plotline is clearly supposed to be a moralistic tale about the dangers of powerful pharmaceutical companies. In this case the company in question is creating drugs from the blood of a captured angel/human crossbreed thingy. One of the drugs is designed to create more of them… or different ones… or something. Who knows? Certainly nobody cares.
The whole movie is weighed down even more by a mind-numbingly dull but near constant narration by Henriksen. He drones on and on delivering lines that somebody was clearly insanely, mistakenly proud of. There’s really just nothing to recommend this stinker. It’s slow, uneven as hell, scatter-brained and uninspired.