I was 11 years old in 1982 when “Poltergeist” came out. Not only does that make me very old now, but it also means that that the MPAA hadn’t gone quite as monkey-slapping-crazy as they are now and gave this movie a PG rating. Tobe Hooper [IMDB] and Stephen Spielberg [IMDB] could have easily gone for a hard “R” (studios still hadn’t decided to be horribly afraid of it). Instead they tossed out one of the hands-down scariest experiences of my childhood and still brought it in with a PG.
Video game movies tend to be, to put things mildly, terrible. Generally, they’re rushed, low-budget, self-indulgent compromises. They’re incredibly adept at discovering exactly which elements makes people adore the game and then ignoring them completely. Like anything else, there are exceptions, but as a rule: run away from video game movies.
Horror, 87 Minutes, 2012
15 years ago a mass grave of over 30 people is found in the Siberian wilderness. The Russian government ignores the event and provides no explanation. A small group of journalists accompany a powerful psychic to the site to investigation. After making contact with spirits at the site the group is led to an abandoned research station several miles away. There they unravel a terrible secret while being assaulted by… something, left in the ruins.
Action/Comedy, 96 Minutes, 2013
What if the “Men in Black” [IMDB] hunted ghosts instead of aliens? That’s the movie in a nutshell. Not at all original, but also not a bad idea, really. The agents, here, are dead themselves and doing community service on Earth before being allowed into Heaven. The fugitive ghosts hiding among us need to be found and revealed so that they can be put down for good.
Comedy, 107 Minutes, 2013
This was so stupid. Stupid and silly. Stupid, silly and completely freakin’ hilarious. It’s not really the kind of movie that you’ll watch twice – most of the laughs are surprise shockers – but it’s definitely the kind of movie that you’ll laugh your ass off at.
Horror, 85 Minutes, 2010
Kids hiking through Europe are going missing near a small village in Poland and a junior reporter thinks there’s a story. Her editor demads she report on Honey Bee colony collapse (because editors will always shift resources away from young missing Americans abroad to cover science stories). Following her gut and ignoring orders she convinces her ex-boyfriend photographer and an intern to go AWOL and investigate the disappearances.
[This is the twenty-first through twenty-ninth selection in my irregular, “My Wife and Kids are Visiting Relatives and I’m Home Watching Movies” film festival. Yes, I watched all of these. In a row. In a day. More than 13 hours. Do you people see the lengths to which I will go to prevent myself from making an actual contribution to society?]
I was 16 years-old in 1987 when the first “Hellraiser” movie came out. Back then the only thing approaching what we now know as “the Internet” existing solely in the minds of schizophrenics so I was forced to wait for the VHS release of the movie to see it. I had just recently gotten into horror in a big way based on the recommendations of a friend and was a fan of Clive Barker [Wikipedia]. The movie, written and directed by Barker and based on his novella, “The Hellbound Heart” [Wikipedia], was twisted, gruesome and most importantly, different.