Sci-fi, 38 Minutes, 2009:
[This is the first review for this edition of my semi-regular “my-wife-and-kids-are-visiting-relatives-so-I’m-watching-loads-of-crappy-movies” film festival.]
Category: Movies
Movie Review: Your Highness
Comedy, 102 Minutes, 2011
This is one of those movies that simply over-stays its welcome. You will laugh – at least a little. But a royal, fantasy prince saying “fuck” is only funny once… maybe twice. Here you get it about 148 times. That minotaur dick joke was mildly funny. Missed it? Don’t worry, it’ll get referenced 20 more times.
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Movie Review: The Lost Thing
Children’s, 15 Minutes, 2010
This is amazingly, completely, totally and utterly brilliant.
Go find it. Watch it. It’s only 15 minutes – I’ll wait.
. . .
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Movie Review: Cowboys & Aliens
Action/Sci-fi, 118 Minutes, 2011
I enjoyed this quite a bit but I can see good reasons why some people may not. It was slow getting going – downright lethargic in places. There was also a little silliness with Olivia Wilde’s character, but nothing too distracting.
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Movie Review: Super
Drama/Comedy, 96 Minutes, 2010:
This is an incredible film if you’re able to accept it. If there’s a problem with it (and there isn’t) it’s that it assumes a lot of its audience. So if you think there’s a problem with it (you’re wrong) then it’s really just you. My guess is that you’re an idiot. That’s really nothing to be ashamed of – lots of people are – but you may not enjoy this movie. Everybody else: you’re in for a treat.
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Movie Review: Drive Angry
Action, 104 Minutes, 2011
This really isn’t that bad of a movie. A modern interpretation of grindhouse classics it has all of the ultra-violent silliness you could want to see. The story – a condemned grandfather escapes from Hell to save his infant granddaughter from being sacrificed by a deranged cult leader – is workable.
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Movie Review: Bad Teacher
Comedy, 92 Minutes, 2011:
Despite a surprisingly convincing performance by Cameron Diaz as a complete bitch the movie just ends up falling flat. There are definitely some giggles and it’s not completely unenjoyable but despite a sometimes valiant struggle it simply doesn’t reach its potential.
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Movie Review: Priest
Horror/Sci-Fi, 87 Minutes, 2011
Apocalyptic wastelands, vampires and related monsters, bad-ass futuristic motorcycles and ass-kicking ninja priests. Yeah; I like this movie.
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Movie Review: No Strings Attached
Comedy, 108 Minutes, 2011
I’m not a big fan of Ashton Kutcher but I’m a huge fan of Natalie Portman so it kind of balances out. Unfortunately they spend a lot of time in this movie trying to make her unlikable but luckily that’s impossible.
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Movie Review: Red Riding Hood
Fantasy, 100 Minutes, 2011
A modern retelling of “Little Riding Hood” this movie works in a lot of ways. The setting is gorgeous and spooky and the build-up is well drawn. The dialog and acting are (I hope) meaningfully stilted: this is a fairy-tale after all.
