Tag: Review

Movie Review: The Croods

IMDB, The Croods“The Croods” on IMDB

Fantasy, 98 Minutes, 2013

The Croods are cavemen.  In fact, after a series of misadventures, they are the very last cavemen in their area.  They say they survive by fearing everything, rarely leaving their cave and never doing anything new.  They actually survive via bombastic, attention-drawing action sequences that completely ignore everything they say.

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Movie Review: The Shrine

IMDB, The Shrine“The Shrine” on IMDB

Horror, 85 Minutes, 2010

Kids hiking through Europe are going missing near a small village in Poland and a junior reporter thinks there’s a story.  Her editor demads she report on Honey Bee colony collapse (because editors will always shift resources away from young missing Americans abroad to cover science stories).  Following her gut and ignoring orders she convinces her ex-boyfriend photographer and an intern to go AWOL and investigate the disappearances.

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Movie Review: Android Insurrection

IMDB, Android Insurrection“Android Insurrection” on IMDB

Sci-fi, 90 Minutes, 2012

This a terrible movie full of terrible things.  But it is damn funny.  It’s not meant to be funny, but it’s damn funny.  Hard to watch, harder to follow and ridiculously difficult to take seriously, but damn funny.

It has all the problems of z-budget sci-fi.  Terrible sets, terrible green screen and terrible integration of the, honestly, actually pretty good CGI.  The whole movie gives the impression that one guy got pretty good at making robots on the computer and his dumbass friends decided that they would make such an awesome movie!

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Movie Review: Vamp U

IMDB, Vamp U“Vamp U” on IMDB

Horror/Comedy, 100 Minutes, 2013

Vampires are what we used to have before zombies.  They pretty much all migrated to TV and terrible tween books, but a few years ago they were some kind of hot shit.

In this we meet Wayne Gretzky (no relation, and the first of several running jokes that goes absolutely nowhere), an ancient vampire who accidentally killed his mortal love 300 years earlier.  Since then he’s been vampire-impotent and unable to “grow his teeth”.  He now works as a history professor, survives on animal blood, and is generally pretty content.

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Five Albums I’d Never Heard of Before I Loved Them

I like music, but I’m not a “music person”.  I don’t read up on the industry, look for new releases or know who used-to-be-with-who and so forth.  Most of the music I buy is either stuff that I’ve been listening to for years or stuff that I get introduced to through unconventional sources.  Here are five albums that were introduced to me through odd channels that ended up becoming some of my all-time favorites.

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Movie Review: Video Game High School

IMDB, Video Game High School“Video Game High School” on IMDB

Sci-Fi, 123 Minutes, 2012

[This isn’t technically a movie.  Rather it’s a web series whose first season has been cut into a movie for distribution on NetFlix.  I’m going to treat it like a movie.  So there.]

This entire thing is unabashed, shameless pandering to the video game crowd.  In this world video games are king.  Good players are the rock stars and every teen wants to go to “Video Game High School”.  Brian D is an everyman schlep who accidentally frags the school’s star, “The Law”, and gets a scholarship for his trouble.

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Movie Review: Star Trek, Into Darkness

IMDB, Star Trek, Into Darkness“Star Trek, Into Darkness” on IMDB

Sci-Fi, 132 Minutes, 2013

Like the horribly disappointing “Promethues” [Our Review], this was written, in part, by Damon Lindelof [IMDB] who seems to take a perverse pleasure in completely ignoring beloved source material.  He did the same thing, by the way, with “World War Z” which I recently reviewed at our sister site, MoreBrains.com.  This guy is getting on my nerves.

Like those other movies you can consider this in two ways.  As a stand-alone film this really isn’t that bad.  It’s got some real, ugly stupid but as a mindless summer flick it’s not that bad.  As a “Star Trek” movie?  It really sucked.

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