Category: Reviews

Movie Review: The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

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IMDB, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty“The Secret Life of Walter Mitty” on IMDB

Adventure/Comedy, 114 Minutes, 2013

This isn’t an adaptation of James Thurber’s classic 1939 short story. The story, as wonderful as it is, would make for a terrible movie. Its charm, and genius, is that the main character does literally nothing exciting. It’s an amazing literary work but would be wholly unsatisfying as a film. Nor is it a remake of the 1947 Danny Kaye [IMDB] classic. That film, wonderful and timeless as it is, is a product of its time and simply wouldn’t translate well into a modern film.

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Movie Review: The To Do List

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IMDB, The To Do List“The To Do List” on IMDB

Comedy, 104 Minutes, 2013

For some reason I’m finding it very difficult to write this review. My computer is ready to go (in other words, Minecraft isn’t running). I’ve got a cold beverage (water). I’ve got some good writing music playing (Queen’s “A Night at the Opera”). I’ve got my review pants on (which is to say, I’ve got no pants on).

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Movie Review: Frozen

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IMDB, Frozen“Frozen” on IMDB

Adventure, 102 Minutes, 2013

Hey kids, it’s time to dig up Hans Christian Anderson and carve another chunk from his desiccated flesh! Sure, we’ve left him alone  for awhile, but it’s time. We’ve been gouging at the Grimm boys for a while. We even did some Japanese imports! The crew over at Pixar’s been good to us but, dammit, we need a new princess to feed the machine! And this is a two-fer!

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Movie Review: The Lifeguard

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IMDB, The Lifeguard“The Lifeguard” on IMDB

Drama, 98 Minutes, 2013

Leigh (played by Kristen Bell [IMDB]) is having an existential crisis. Life just hasn’t turned out the way that she had hoped it would. In high-school she was a straight “A” student, class valedictorian and spent her summers working as a lifeguard at the local public pool. In real-life she’s working as the most junior of reporters at a scruffy newspaper in New York, dating the wrong guy and unable to get anybody to take her seriously.

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Movie Review: Red Dawn

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IMDB, Red Dawn“Red Dawn” on IMDB

Action, 93 Minutes, 2012

The original 1984 “Red Dawn” [IMDB] was the quintessential “America, Fuck Yeah!” movie of my teenage years. It gathered up all of the boiling, latent paranoia of the cold war, presented us with a horrifying, totally ridiculous (but just barely plausible) situation and celebrated the can-do, never-say-die, suffer-any-hardship, assume-any-loss American spirit that could pull us out of it.

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Movie Review: Riddick

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IMDB, Riddick“Riddick” on IMDB

Science-Fiction, 119 Minutes, 2013

I’m a huge fan of the Riddick movies and of director David Twohy [IMDB]. Riddick has the kind of over-the-top, comic-book cool that’s been missing from a genre more interested in epic run-times than fun. He was introduced in “Pitch Black” [IMDB], a near-perfect sci-fi monster thriller and expanded in 2004’s muddled, but still terrific, “The Chronicles of Riddick” [IMDB]. Vin Diesel [IMDB] clearly believes in the character: he finagled a deal to gain ownership of the franchise from Universal and produced this film independently.

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Movie Review: Jackass Presents Bad Grandpa

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IMDB, Bad Grandpa“Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa” on IMDB

Comedy, 93 Minutes, 2013

Every once in a while, whether they would like to admit it or not, everybody can benefit from a good, big dose of old-fashioned, plain-vanilla, purely analog stupid. The kind of stupid that makes your problems seem just a little smaller and your troubles just a little bit easier. The kind of stupid that the “Jackass” crew gleefully spews from every orifice.

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