Horror, 90 Minutes, 2013
Danica McKellar [IMDB], who did this to you? Did they threaten you? Did they tell you, “it’ll be fun!” or, “don’t worry, nobody will get hurt!” Did they? Well, young lady, you may not have intended it, but people got hurt. Some seriously. I was one of them. So I need you to tell me who did this to you and I need you to do it right now.
Would you like to point out on the doll where they threatened to hurt you?
Comedy, 119 Minutes, 2013
This is a completely clichéd “Old dogs teach new tricks” story. Vince Vaughn [IMDB] and Owen Wilson [IMDB] are luxury watch salesmen made irrelevant in the age of smart phones. Deciding they need a change in their lives they apply, in a flash of optimistic hubris, to a cutthroat technical internship program catering almost exclusively to new college graduates.
The internship is at GOOGLE!
Drama, 91 Minutes, 2013
This movie is, plain-and-simple, a God-damn achievement. IMAX was invented in 1970 and spent all that time waiting for this movie. You can tear them all down now, all the IMAX theatres. Nothing will ever be so perfectly matched to the format again. It was also the first time that I didn’t feel ripped off by the $15 ticket price.
“The Hangover Part III” on IMDB
Comedy, 107 Minutes, 2013
The repetitive second entry (our review) essentially tweaked the script from the first, and best, movie. It tossed all of the potential character and relationship growth and said, basically, “let’s just do that again.” This third entry is far from perfect, but is much more of a sequel to the first and much more satisfying for it.
Comedy, 107 Minutes, 2013
This was so stupid. Stupid and silly. Stupid, silly and completely freakin’ hilarious. It’s not really the kind of movie that you’ll watch twice – most of the laughs are surprise shockers – but it’s definitely the kind of movie that you’ll laugh your ass off at.
Fantasy, 98 Minutes, 2013
The Croods are cavemen. In fact, after a series of misadventures, they are the very last cavemen in their area. They say they survive by fearing everything, rarely leaving their cave and never doing anything new. They actually survive via bombastic, attention-drawing action sequences that completely ignore everything they say.
Horror, 85 Minutes, 2010
Kids hiking through Europe are going missing near a small village in Poland and a junior reporter thinks there’s a story. Her editor demads she report on Honey Bee colony collapse (because editors will always shift resources away from young missing Americans abroad to cover science stories). Following her gut and ignoring orders she convinces her ex-boyfriend photographer and an intern to go AWOL and investigate the disappearances.
Sci-Fi, 100 Minutes, 2013
This may not actually be as bad as you may have heard but lordy, lordy it ain’t good. A lot has been said about M. Night Shyamalan’s [IMDB] fall from grace. I’m not one to kick a man when he’s down but dammit, this guy does not make it easy.
[Minor spoilers follow. Sorry.]
Fantasy, 100 Minutes, 2013
This was from a lot of the same people that brought you the weirdly fun “Orcs” [Our Review]. Apparently they got a good deal on the equipment because they’re back again with even more orcs.
“Android Insurrection” on IMDB
Sci-fi, 90 Minutes, 2012
This a terrible movie full of terrible things. But it is damn funny. It’s not meant to be funny, but it’s damn funny. Hard to watch, harder to follow and ridiculously difficult to take seriously, but damn funny.
It has all the problems of z-budget sci-fi. Terrible sets, terrible green screen and terrible integration of the, honestly, actually pretty good CGI. The whole movie gives the impression that one guy got pretty good at making robots on the computer and his dumbass friends decided that they would make such an awesome movie!
