Drama, 91 Minutes, 2013
This movie is, plain-and-simple, a God-damn achievement. IMAX was invented in 1970 and spent all that time waiting for this movie. You can tear them all down now, all the IMAX theatres. Nothing will ever be so perfectly matched to the format again. It was also the first time that I didn’t feel ripped off by the $15 ticket price.
Fantasy, 98 Minutes, 2013
The Croods are cavemen. In fact, after a series of misadventures, they are the very last cavemen in their area. They say they survive by fearing everything, rarely leaving their cave and never doing anything new. They actually survive via bombastic, attention-drawing action sequences that completely ignore everything they say.
Sci-Fi, 100 Minutes, 2013
This may not actually be as bad as you may have heard but lordy, lordy it ain’t good. A lot has been said about M. Night Shyamalan’s [IMDB] fall from grace. I’m not one to kick a man when he’s down but dammit, this guy does not make it easy.
[Minor spoilers follow. Sorry.]
“Star Trek, Into Darkness” on IMDB
Sci-Fi, 132 Minutes, 2013
Like the horribly disappointing “Promethues” [Our Review], this was written, in part, by Damon Lindelof [IMDB] who seems to take a perverse pleasure in completely ignoring beloved source material. He did the same thing, by the way, with “World War Z” which I recently reviewed at our sister site, MoreBrains.com. This guy is getting on my nerves.
Like those other movies you can consider this in two ways. As a stand-alone film this really isn’t that bad. It’s got some real, ugly stupid but as a mindless summer flick it’s not that bad. As a “Star Trek” movie? It really sucked.
Action, 130 Minutes, 2013
[By way of explanation, this review was written on Sept 19. I may have also sent the spellchecker into a neurotic spiral of depression.]
Ahoy, maties! This be the third picture show in the “Iron Man” series. Comin’ in the roiling wake of “The Avengers” [IMDB] it struggles like a drunkin’ tar heaved overboard. Our rum-soaked sea-dog, Tony Stark, is now bedeviled by panic attacks, insomnia and insecurity after saving the whole of the seven seas from an alien boarding party in New York.
Rated M for Mature, Reviewed on PS3
Big budget gaming is a glut of sequels and mimics. The reason for this is lamentable but obvious. Namely that big budget gaming needs big budgets. Selling lots and lots of games gets you those so you make games that you know will sell. In an arena filled to bursting with Battlefighterwarduty thirty-eight, it’s especially refreshing to find a game both so originally minded and perfectly crafted.
Family/Adventure, 102 Minutes, 2013
This was fine, really. Just fine. The animation is nice. The story is simple enough. It has Chris O’Dowd [IMDB] in it; he makes everything better. There’s funny sidekicks, lots of action, a nasty little villain and love story light on the kissy-face.
It’s just fine. Not quite, you know, “epic”, but really, just fine.
Sci-fi, 124 Minutes, 2013
This is a good sci-fi movie. Tom Cruise [IMDB] is still good enough to make you forget that he’s pants-crapping crazy. Morgan Freeman [IMDB] is Morgan Freeman. The effects are gorgeous. The pacing is effective and the cinematography stunning.
It’s a good movie. You’ll enjoy it. Are we clear on that? Good, because the movie was also really fucking stupid.
“Jack the Giant Slayer” on IMDB
Adventure, 114 Minutes, 2013
A retelling of “Jack and the Beanstalk” the movie plays fast and loose with the particulars of the story but stays comfortably in the genre. It adds a beautiful, strong-willed princess; a heroic, selfless knight; a devious royal advisor and ups the giant-ante considerably. Instead of our hero outwitting a single giant we get a whole big bunch of giants!
Adventure/Drama, 127 Minutes, 2012
One of the most common remarks heard before this released was that the book was “un-filmable”. After it was released, all you really heard was “ooh! A tiger!” The truth, in my opinion, lies someplace in between.
