Sci-Fi, 100 Minutes, 2013
This may not actually be as bad as you may have heard but lordy, lordy it ain’t good. A lot has been said about M. Night Shyamalan’s [IMDB] fall from grace. I’m not one to kick a man when he’s down but dammit, this guy does not make it easy.
[Minor spoilers follow. Sorry.]
Sci-fi, 124 Minutes, 2013
This is a good sci-fi movie. Tom Cruise [IMDB] is still good enough to make you forget that he’s pants-crapping crazy. Morgan Freeman [IMDB] is Morgan Freeman. The effects are gorgeous. The pacing is effective and the cinematography stunning.
It’s a good movie. You’ll enjoy it. Are we clear on that? Good, because the movie was also really fucking stupid.
We’re huge RiffTrax fans here and when they did their first KickStarter campaign back in February we backed them. Backed them hard! They were trying to earn enough to Riff “Twilight”. Apparently, since the movie is still busy printing money like Guttenberg on Meth, there isn’t enough for that. So they did “Starship Troopers” instead.
Broadcast by Fathom Events to hundreds of theaters (and, for the first time, Canada) this is the fifth live RiffTrax event and the first using a major studio film. The prior events, “Plan Nine from Outer Space”, “Manos: The Hands of Fate”. “Reefer Madness” and the modern turkey classic, “Birdemic”, were some of the best times we’ve had in a theater and this one didn’t disappoint.
“Starship Troopers” is actually a decent film on its own. Campy, clichéd and over-the-top, but also fun, well-paced and visually impressive. I prefer it when the guys riff truly terrible films so I can’t say this was my favorite live event. It was still worlds better than any of the comedies I’ve seen this year.
RiffTrax never disappoints!
Sci-fi, 93 Minutes, 2013
[This is the fifteenth selection in my irregular, “My Wife and Kids are Visiting Relatives and I’m Home Watching Movies” film festival.]
Sci-fi/Horror, 108 Minutes, 2009
[This is the fourteenth selection in my irregular, “My Wife and Kids are Visiting Relatives and I’m Home Watching Movies” film festival.]
Sci-fi/Horror, 97 Minutes, 2013
[This is the fourth selection in my irregular, “My Wife and Kids are Visiting Relatives and I’m Home Watching Movies” film festival.]
Sci-fi, 132 Minutes, 2013
This movie is completely without depth or gravitas of any kind. Every character is a cliché-ridden cardboard cutout. Every scene is parody of exchanges you’ve seen a 1,000 times before. Visual effects are used in place of emotional connection and innovation.
This movie was amazingly, astonishingly, awesome!
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| Sharknado Horror, 83 Minutes, 2013 |
Jack the Giant Killer Adventure, 87 Minutes, 2013 |
Atlantic Rim Sci-Fi, 83 Minutes, 2013 |
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| Age of Dinosaurs Sci-Fi, 88 Minutes, 2013 |
AE: Apocalypse Earth Sci-Fi, 87 Minutes, 2013 |
2-Headed Shark Attack Horror, 83 Minutes, 2012 |
I’ve written about low budget schlock before, almost all of them produced by The Asylum, which has produced over 300 feature-length direct-to-video movies since 1997. They focus almost exclusively on producing “Mockbusters”: terrible films with budgets under a million dollars loosely based on current blockbusters and released days before the inspiring film hits theaters. Their films generally take less than four months from initial idea to final product. Recently they’ve become the go-to team to produce the SyFy Channel’s steady stream of increasingly ridiculous monster/disaster films. They’ve also slid into a weird niche producing ridiculous faith-based family films to cash in on the evangelical dollar.
Comedy/Horror, 94 Minutes, 2012
We had it in our heads, for some reason, that this was going to be another terrible SyFy Channel-style CGI-monster crapfest. We crowded around the TV, claws unsheathed, ready to have a blast tearing this terrible piece of shit to tiny shreds. Sadly we ended up disappointed.
You see, it ended up being good. Even very good.
“Escape from Planet Earth” on IMDB
Family, 89 Minutes, 2013
It’s a digitally animated family film! It has famous people (a few former A-listers and a solid set of B-listers)! There are multiple cute side-kicky characters! It has references to pop culture! It has a heartwarming message! It’s really nothing special.
