Documentary, 78 Minutes, 2014
This is the latest in Disney’s “True Life Adventure” series of nature documentaries. This time we follow an Alaskan Grizzly bear and her two cubs through their first year of life. It’s very tempting to say “if you seen one, then you’ve seen them all” here. Mostly because it’s basically true.
Animation/Family, 96 Minutes, 2014
LAIKA, the studio behind the classics “Coraline” [IMDB] and “ParaNorman” [My Review at MoreBrains.com], continues its mostly thankless efforts to elevate the quality family cinema. Lighter than their previous offerings, this still provides the intelligence and depth that we’ve come to expect from them.
Musical/Comedy, 118 Minutes, 2014
There’s an elephant in the room with this one and it’s kind of a stupid elephant. Like those stuck-up ones in “Dumbo” that didn’t like him because of his ears; lobe-ist bitches.
This is not “Black Annie”.
Family, 107 Minutes, 2014
The Muppets have honed their formula to perfection in the 35 years since the original “The Muppet Movie” [my review]. There have been rough patches, but all was set right with 2011’s big-budget revival “The Muppets” [my review]. Where that film spent significant time on new characters and human relationships, this one is a return to the basics. More songs, more gags and more Muppets.
“Mr Peabody and Sherman” on IMDB
Family, 92 Minutes, 2014
Hey kids, it’s a computer animated family film based on an old cartoon! There are topical references! There are nostalgic references! There are puns! Surprisingly, it’s not that bad. I mean, hell, it’s not that great either, but in the vast technicolor sea of computer-vomited slop it’s… not that bad.
Adventure, 100 Minutes, 2014
This is a completely formula, by-the-numbers family film. Bright, colorful animated characters voiced by famous people. Lots of jokes with popular references. Fast action! A simple plot! A super-sappy emotional message!
Folks, sometimes formula works. Sometimes formula works really, damn well.
Comedy/Family, 91 Minutes, 2013
Hey, kids: want to watch a completely bland, totally mediocre, computer animated family comedy! It stars famous people! It has topical references and horribly bastardizes history! It’s 90 minutes long! It’ll cost just as much as a good movie to watch, and you’ll never get the time you spent with it back!
Adventure, 102 Minutes, 2013
Hey kids, it’s time to dig up Hans Christian Anderson and carve another chunk from his desiccated flesh! Sure, we’ve left him alone for awhile, but it’s time. We’ve been gouging at the Grimm boys for a while. We even did some Japanese imports! The crew over at Pixar’s been good to us but, dammit, we need a new princess to feed the machine! And this is a two-fer!
Animation, 96 Minutes, 2013
This is the latest installment of DreamWorks Animation’s unofficial series of things that would rather be other things. Like the other installments, this movie is just full of life lessons!
Family/Comedy, 105 Minutes, 2013
The Smurfs, like French Fries, are often mistakenly assumed to have originated in France. In fact both are Belgian! So, if you want to thank somebody for unleashing a swarm of little blue nitwits with shared speech impediments and mono-cultured personalities, find yourself a Belgian! They apparently also have a carrot museum.
So, yeah. Belgium.
