Horror, 85 Minutes, 2012
[Wife and kids are away visiting for the holidays. I’m staying home with movies and am back to the blood bucketing.]
This is pretty good ultra-low-budget horror. It’s a pretty damn bad anything else, but with a budget less than most used cars you do have to set expectations accordingly. There is often an undeniable charm to be found when literally every penny counts.
Drama/Romance, 102 Minutes, 2006
[Wife and kids are away visiting for the holidays. I’m staying home with movies and am taking a break from horror. There’s only so much corn-syrup and red food coloring you can take in a sitting.]
Horror, 93 Minutes, 2006
[Wife and kids are away visiting for the holidays. I’m staying home with movies. Just call me “Scrooge”. The silly one, with Bill Murray. ]
Horror, 93 Minutes, 2011
[Wife and kids are away visiting for the holidays. I’m staying home with movies. Just call me “Scrooge”. The fun one, with the Muppets.]
Horror, 108 Minutes, 2012
[Wife and kids are away visiting for the holidays. I’m staying home with movies. Just call me “Scrooge”.]
Comedy/Sci-Fi, 109 Minutes, 2013
[Wife and kids are away and I’m catching up on movies.]
Film nerds are likely aware that this film marks the third, or “Green Mint” flavor, of Edgar Wright’s [IMDB] acclaimed, but only tenuously related, Three Flavours Cornetto Trilogy. The film stars Simon Pegg [IMDB] as Gary King, a rather sad forty-something that continues to ride the questionable glories of his high-school heydays, and Nick Frost [IMDB] as Andy Knightley, his former best friend who has since cleaned up, straightened out and made something of himself.
Horror, 87 Minutes, 2010
[Wife and kids are away for the weekend and here I am again, burning through terrible movies. Selflessly. For you.]
Damn this was slow. Slow. Slow. Slow. Molasses slow. Snail slow. Tortoise slow.
Family/Comedy, 105 Minutes, 2013
The Smurfs, like French Fries, are often mistakenly assumed to have originated in France. In fact both are Belgian! So, if you want to thank somebody for unleashing a swarm of little blue nitwits with shared speech impediments and mono-cultured personalities, find yourself a Belgian! They apparently also have a carrot museum.
So, yeah. Belgium.
Horror, 90 Minutes, 2013
This is the simple story of a small-town hottie, three friends who run out of gas, a gay soul singer and his entourage all being eaten by dinosaurs grown in silos by a crazy old man.
I think it’s based on a Dickens novella. Or maybe a morphine dream. Whatever it is it’s certainly not “Jurassic” or any kind of park.
Horror, 87 Minutes, 2012
15 years ago a mass grave of over 30 people is found in the Siberian wilderness. The Russian government ignores the event and provides no explanation. A small group of journalists accompany a powerful psychic to the site to investigation. After making contact with spirits at the site the group is led to an abandoned research station several miles away. There they unravel a terrible secret while being assaulted by… something, left in the ruins.
