Action/Sci-Fi, 113 Minutes, 2014
Hey teenage girls, we turned one of those young-adult fiction books you seem to like so much into a movie! We crammed in a whole variety pack of 20-something heart-throbs you can pretend are in their teens! We’ll have posters for sale and everything!
Action/Sci-Fi, 89 Minutes, 2014
I told you, Hollywood, all the way back in 2011, when I saw “Limitless” [my review]: stop saying that we only use 10% of our brains! I’m warning you! It was wrong and stupid then and it’s wrong and stupid now. Now one of my favorite directors, Luc Besson [IMDB], goes and bases an entire movie on it.
Adventure, 126 Minutes, 2013
I lost track of the “X-Men” movies some time ago. The overblown “X-Men: The Last Stand” [IMDB] and oddly paced “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” were decent, but seemed to represent a downward spiral from the first two films. The excellent semi-reboot “X-Men: First Class” [IMDB] seemed to distance itself from the earlier films.
Action, 107 Minutes, 2013
There’s two movies here. One is pretty damn good, the other is pretty damn stupid. They’re intertwined, of course. but it still feels wrong; like the stupid movie forced itself on the good one in an alley. It’s not a pretty metaphor, but it’s apt.
Sci-fi/Action, 117 Minutes, 2014
You can’t review this movie without comparing it to the classic 1987 original [IMDB]. Directed by Paul Verhoeven [IMDB], the original was a brutally violent action flick that hid a disturbingly snarky satirical commentary on modern society (a formula he would leverage again 10 years later in “Starship Troopers” [IMDB]). This reboot? Well, it’s very pretty.
Sci-fi/Action, 123 Minutes, 2014
I had every intention of spending this entire review snarkily discussing the weird similarities this movie has with 1998’s universally riviled “Godzilla” [IMDB]. I had that intention all the way up until the moment that Cracked did it better, first. Bastards. Instead, I’ll take a different tack and discuss why so many of the things in this movie worked compared to the previous attempt. (There may be minor spoilers ahead.)
“Thor: The Dark World” on IMDB
Action/Fantasy, 112 Minutes, 2013
Thor, you crazy asgardian god, what’s going on?! Why are you throwing your hammer around? You look like somebody kicked your puppy. What? Your little friend from down in that other dimension get herself all infected with all-powerful ancient evil? Well, I’m sure she’ll be alright.
Sci-fi, 121 Minutes, 1994
Wanting to celebrate Pi Day with a movie gets a little difficult after the obvious options are ruled out. “Pi” [IMDB] isn’t exactly a family movie. “Life of Pi” [My Review] is great, but we had re-watched it recently on a whim. “American Pie” [IMDB] was floated as a possibility but dismissed as inappropriate for the audience. The excellent and often overlooked “Waitress” [IMDB], about a waitress who expresses herself through gourmet pies, was suggested as well; this was shot down by a small, but vocal minority who didn’t want any “chick flicks”.
Action, 107 Minutes, 2013
There are certain things that you don’t question. Like, why is there always some jackass that tries to cram the boats in diagonally in “Battleship”? Why is there no “gluteus minimus”? Who actually watches “Mike and Molly”?
Action, 93 Minutes, 2012
The original 1984 “Red Dawn” [IMDB] was the quintessential “America, Fuck Yeah!” movie of my teenage years. It gathered up all of the boiling, latent paranoia of the cold war, presented us with a horrifying, totally ridiculous (but just barely plausible) situation and celebrated the can-do, never-say-die, suffer-any-hardship, assume-any-loss American spirit that could pull us out of it.
![IMDB, Godzilla [2014]](http://depressedpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/imdb-godzilla-2014.jpg)
