Drama, 110 Minutes, 2009
I don’t often review dramas (or really good movies for that matter). Dramas are tiring and emotionally draining and lack the explosions and bad special effects that have come to be recognized as signs of “Dad’s movies” in my home. However my wife feels differently. She loves those weepy, drippy tear-jerkers! So, with high expectations and she with a box of tissues we sat down to watch this acclaimed drama.
Action, 98 Minutes, 2012
This is a pretty serviceable action flick. The hook is that a no-name banana republic is attempting to outsource its rebellion against a tyrant general by selling it as a real-life adventure for billionaires (get it? Soldiers of Fortune? Get it?!) To keep their spoiled bags of money safe in an active war zone they hire real-life disgraced commandos Christian Slater [IMDB] and Freddy Rodriguez [IMDB]. Of course things go well-and-truly pear-shaped almost immediately.
“The Dish and the Spoon” on IMDB
Comedy, 90 Minutes, 2011
I’m talking now to all the ladies in the audience. You know how it is when you’re husband cheats on you with a yoga instructor from your home town and then you drive all night with no money to find her and kill her? But then you decide to take a six-pack up to the beach tower and find a british kid up there? So you take him to your parent’s beach house, steal from him, dress him in drag, show him your funeral plot and let him touch your boob? You all know how that goes, right ladies?
Horror, 83 Minutes, 2012
The first Piranha movie was actually pretty good, this one not so much. The first one had some decent actors, some fun cameos and a lot of classic monster movie mojo. It was fun, sexy and well worth wasting 90 minutes of time if you had nothing better to do.
Fantasy, 98 Minutes, 2011
James Furlong has a serious problem. The men in his line are afflicted with strange magical powers that tend to hinder more than help. His grandfather would go blind for 37 minutes if he thought about sex. His father disables machines near him when scared. James has it worse, however: whenever he’s hurt everything (and everyone) near him dies.
Action, 131 Minutes, 2012
It should be obvious that making a movie based on Hasbro’s “Battleship” should result in disaster. The game itself has no story or plot and the absolute simplest of mechanics. There’s also the rather important fact that it’s not really all that fun. Nobody was more surprised than me that the movie based on this silly little game was surprisingly good.
Horror, 79 Minutes, 2010
[Wife and kids are away on their last weekend jaunt before school starts so while I catch up on some mind-numbingly tedious work I’m distracting myself with bad movies. This is the fifth.]
Zombie alert!
See the review of “Humans versus Zombies” on our sister site, MoreBrains.com dedicated to all things zombie!
Action, 89 Minutes, 2010
[Wife and kids are away on their last weekend jaunt before school starts so while I catch up on some mind-numbingly tedious work I’m distracting myself with bad movies. This is the third.]
