Category: Movies

Movie Review: The Wild Hunt

IMDB, The Wild Hunt“The Wild Hunt” on IMDB

Drama/Thriller, 96 Minutes, 2009

This movie is about LARPing. If you don’t know what this is, think “grown-up dress-up party with rubber swords”. If you do know what that is you’re probably really pissed-off that I just called it a “grown-up dress-up party with rubber swords”. Don’t be mad – no offense intended – just trying to reach a middle ground.

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Movie Review: Happy Christmas

IMDB, Happy Christmas“Happy Christmas” on IMDB

Comedy/Drama, 84 Minutes, 2014

This is one of those super-cheap, mostly ad-libbed, slice-of-life art films that tend to be fatally dull and terminally uninteresting. Only very rarely does the formula result in something worthwhile. Although this has some problems getting up to speed and staying there, happily it’s one of those.

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Movie Review: The Fault in Our Stars

IMDB, The Fault in Our Stars“The Fault in Our Stars” on IMDB

Drama/Romance, 126 Minutes, 2014

Cancer kids have cancer. They have each other too, but they still have lots and lots of cancer. This isn’t that TV cancer that doesn’t actually do anything. This is the real kind that leaves you all tubed and tired and sweaty and gross.

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Movie Review: Black Limousine

IMDB, Black Limousine“Black Limousine” on IMDB

Drama, 101 Minutes, 2010

I had no idea what to expect from this. Literally none at all. David Arquette [IMDB] failed to set the world on fire, but he’s likable and fell into some really fun roles. Also, the only synopsis of the movie available was, “A ghost story set in the city of dreams.” and that intrigued me.

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500 Movie Reviews! Hooray for Arbitrary Numbers!

My last post was the 500th movie review I’ve completed at DepressedPress.com! Happily, it was a doozy; perhaps my favorite movie of the year.

The first review I posted to the site in early 2011, the amazing Mirrormask, was actually authored in 2005 for a different (now defunct) website. The first review specifically written for this site was Prowl, a mediocre-but-interesting vampire flick, a month or so later. I had started doing the reviews as a lark to fill time, then just started reviewing everything I watched.

Here are some highlights:

  • The Next Race: This insane trip into somebody’s ego was the first film ever in “my-wife-and-kids-are-visiting-relatives-so-I’m-watching-loads-of-crappy-movies” film festival series. Come to think of it, I’ve not done one in a while… I’ve gotta get those people out of the house.
  • Fido: Now hosted on our everything-zombie sister site MoreBrains.com, this was the first review for our annual Easter zombie-thon Boiled Eggs and Brain Eaters.
  • Outlander: This was the first time that anybody actually involved with a film bothered to comment. Writer/Director Howard McCain was good enough to set me straight on a few things and discuss a few others.
  • Orc Wars: I have no idea why, but this is – far and away – the most popular review on the site. It is, in fact, the second most popular page on site overall and gets more than 10 times the traffic of any other review.

I don’t know if anybody is actually reading this stuff – I only get about 2000 page views a month and nearly no comments – but it keeps me off the street.

So here’s to arbitrarily round numbers and the vast expanse that is international cinema!

Movie Review: Birdman

IMDB, Birdman“Birdman” on IMDB

Drama, 119 Minutes, 2014

Campering-crippled-christ on a crusted-crooked-crutch: this was amazing. You may have heard the film is pretentious, but that would indicate that it’s trying to fool you into thinking that it has more ability or talent than it demonstrates. The film could have devolved into pretentiousness in a thousand ways, but despite the numerous risks involved it didn’t. This is the real deal.

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Movie Review: The Box Trolls

IMDB, The Boxtrolls“The Box Trolls” on IMDB

Animation/Family, 96 Minutes, 2014

LAIKA, the studio behind the classics “Coraline” [IMDB] and “ParaNorman” [My Review at MoreBrains.com], continues its mostly thankless efforts to elevate the quality family cinema. Lighter than their previous offerings, this still provides the intelligence and depth that we’ve come to expect from them.

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Something Reminded Me of What Music Videos Used to Be

I could take or leave the actual song (not really my thing) but I was impressed with the video. Remember when music videos told stories? When they were produced with a cinematic sensibility? Take a look:

Part way in, the characters separate and the music all but fades away. They literally made the music too quiet to hear for a good portion of the song just because it better supported the visual story. That impressed the hell out of me. It was clearly an artistic decision to compromise the music for the movie.

Videos are a dying art – all auto-tuned teeny-boppers flouncing around a sound stage in fake snow while clips of Disney shows play randomly – but they used to be an amazing collaboration between mediums. This video may not light the world on fire, but it was invigorating to see somebody remember that.

Movie Review: Tusk

IMDB, Tusk“Tusk” on IMDB

Comedy/Horror, 102 Minutes, 2014

Apparently the idea for this movie was the result of an extended discussion on writer/director Kevin Smith’s [IMDB] podcast. How about a guy, the joke went, that captures people and tries to turn them into walruses? The gag picked up steam, Smith got excited and made a movie.

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