Category: Reviews

Movie Review: Airborne

IMDB, Airborne“Airborne” on IMDB

Horror, 81 Minutes, 2012

A plane is taking off. It’s the last plane being allowed to leave England headed to New York before a massive tropical storm hits. Instead of being absolutely packed to the brim with people bumped from later flights, it’s nearly empty. Only a handful of people are on board. This is, by far, the most fantastic thing that happens in this movie.

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Movie Review: The Wild Hunt

IMDB, The Wild Hunt“The Wild Hunt” on IMDB

Drama/Thriller, 96 Minutes, 2009

This movie is about LARPing. If you don’t know what this is, think “grown-up dress-up party with rubber swords”. If you do know what that is you’re probably really pissed-off that I just called it a “grown-up dress-up party with rubber swords”. Don’t be mad – no offense intended – just trying to reach a middle ground.

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Movie Review: Happy Christmas

IMDB, Happy Christmas“Happy Christmas” on IMDB

Comedy/Drama, 84 Minutes, 2014

This is one of those super-cheap, mostly ad-libbed, slice-of-life art films that tend to be fatally dull and terminally uninteresting. Only very rarely does the formula result in something worthwhile. Although this has some problems getting up to speed and staying there, happily it’s one of those.

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500 Movie Reviews! Hooray for Arbitrary Numbers!

My last post was the 500th movie review I’ve completed at DepressedPress.com! Happily, it was a doozy; perhaps my favorite movie of the year.

The first review I posted to the site in early 2011, the amazing Mirrormask, was actually authored in 2005 for a different (now defunct) website. The first review specifically written for this site was Prowl, a mediocre-but-interesting vampire flick, a month or so later. I had started doing the reviews as a lark to fill time, then just started reviewing everything I watched.

Here are some highlights:

  • The Next Race: This insane trip into somebody’s ego was the first film ever in “my-wife-and-kids-are-visiting-relatives-so-I’m-watching-loads-of-crappy-movies” film festival series. Come to think of it, I’ve not done one in a while… I’ve gotta get those people out of the house.
  • Fido: Now hosted on our everything-zombie sister site MoreBrains.com, this was the first review for our annual Easter zombie-thon Boiled Eggs and Brain Eaters.
  • Outlander: This was the first time that anybody actually involved with a film bothered to comment. Writer/Director Howard McCain was good enough to set me straight on a few things and discuss a few others.
  • Orc Wars: I have no idea why, but this is – far and away – the most popular review on the site. It is, in fact, the second most popular page on site overall and gets more than 10 times the traffic of any other review.

I don’t know if anybody is actually reading this stuff – I only get about 2000 page views a month and nearly no comments – but it keeps me off the street.

So here’s to arbitrarily round numbers and the vast expanse that is international cinema!