Horror, 107 Minutes, 2009
Low budget horror movies can take several directions. Some attempt a tone of such complete, sincere seriousness that they can do nothing but fail when delivered by terrible actors. Others veer off to the other extreme where they attempt to downplay their shortcomings with parody or comedy. These tend to fail even more completely because parody and comedy aren’t remotely the shortcuts these folks think they are. In fact they’re almost impossible to pull off correctly.
“The Mill and the Cross” on IMDB
Drama, 92 Minutes, 2011
Although not completely necessary it might be a good idea to become at least passingly familiar with Pieter Bruegel the Elder’s 1564 painting, “The Procession to Calvary” [wikipedia] before watching this movie. I’ll wait.
“The Midnight Meat Train” on IMDB
Horror, 98 Minutes, 2008
This is a theatrical version of Clive Barker’s 1984 short story of the same name (found in the “Books of Blood” volume One). While the story was greatly extended (the original story encompassed only a single evening) and several characters added the basic message and drivers remained thankfully untouched. While Barker definitely isn’t to everyone’s taste at least the movie allows his story to stand fundamentally unscathed.
Drama, 3,000-some-odd-Minutes, 2008
Look at that box! All those awards! This must be a great movie, right? My 10 year-old daughter is going through a horse phase so an uplifting feel good movie about a horse should go over well, right?
“Papo and Yo” at playstation.com
Rated E10+; Reviewed on PS3
Games can definitely be art, something I’ve discussed before. Art, as anything, has a value range. It can be beautiful but vacuous, ugly but meaningful and any other combination that you can imagine. Any screen shot of the game will tell you instantly that Papo and Yo is far from a beautiful game, but is it meaningful?
“The Raid: Redemption” on IMDB
Action, 101 Minutes, 2011
My daughter’s one-line review: “THAT WAS AWESOME!”
Who knew that Indonesians could make one of the absolute best action movies that I’ve ever seen? Hong Kong maybe. Japan, possibly. But Indonesia? Really? How in the hell did this happen?
Drama, 115 Minutes, 2011
This is one of those dramatic comedies where the name of the movie is based upon the least interesting thread of the plot. In this case the King family has owned a huge, never-developed, pristine chunk of Kauai worth hundreds of millions for over 150 years. The trust on the land will be running out in a few years and the family has decided to cash in.
Comedy, 104 Minutes, 2011
What do you when Alan Alda [IMDB] screws you (and I mean screws you bad)? Well you put together a completely inept crew to break into one of the most secure buildings in the world and steal from him. You know, people who mentioned that they might know how to do things or other people who you barely know and wouldn’t trust with your neighbor’s cat. Those people. Collect them into a room and tell them all about how you plan to steal 20 million dollars.
Horror, 105 Minutes, 2012
Bad movie! No! Not on the new rug!
(This movie just shit all over my new rug.)
The script – which announces proudly that it’s based on true events (it’s not) – really likes to repeat itself. I think the screenwriter thought it sounded smart (it doesn’t) and that the actors could pull off sounding smart (they can’t… oh dear Lord in heaven they can’t).
