Model: Google Chromecast H2G2-42
Website: http://www.google.com/ChromeCast/
MSRP: $35
I, along with reportedly about a million others, heard the low $35 dollar price during the Google presentation on Thursday and ordered myself a Chromecast. I really didn’t know what it was, but it was cheap, it was new and I wanted one. Yes indeed, being gainfully employed has some perks.
Comedy, 87 Minutes, 1991
There’s a lot going against this movie. It’s entirely reasonable to say that the movie is a one-joke pony. It’s slow in that 90’s movie way that seemed completely normal at the time, but now seems downright odd. Once you get past the (many) alcoholic clown gags the whole thing is pretty clichéd. It also starts with the greasepaint-and-urine-smeared aftermath of a one-night stand between Shakes and Florence Henderson [IMDB]. On second thought, no; that’s an outstanding positive.
“God of War: Ascension” at amazon.com
Rated M for Mature, Reviewed on PS3
Kratos and I go back a long way. The first game, on my beloved PS2, was a revelation. The sheer power and brutality hit you like a brick, but it was the strength of the emotional narrative that kept me interested and brought me back. The second game sent the PS2 out in style and the third dragged the still fledgling PS3 to new heights. The two PSP entries may not have had quite the same impact but they still stand as some of the most impressive gameplay on Sony’s black slab.
Horror, 86 Minutes, 2013
There are few clichés more common in horror than the haunted, abandoned hospital. Unless it’s a low-budget film crew using the haunted, abandoned hospital, that is. “Dark Feed” has both.
“The Incredible Burt Wonderstone” on IMDB
Comedy, 100 Minutes, 2013
I have no idea what happened here. The cast was amazing: Steve Carell [IMDB], Steve Buscemi [IMDB], Olivia Wilde [IMDB], Jim Carrey [IMDB], James Gandolfini [IMDB] in one of his last roles, and Alan Arkin [IMDB]. Director Don Scardino [IMDB] may be new to feature films, but he has had an incredible presence in television. How could this fail?!
I don’t know; but it did.
Sci-fi, 132 Minutes, 2013
This movie is completely without depth or gravitas of any kind. Every character is a cliché-ridden cardboard cutout. Every scene is parody of exchanges you’ve seen a 1,000 times before. Visual effects are used in place of emotional connection and innovation.
This movie was amazingly, astonishingly, awesome!
Adventure, 145 Minutes, 1981
I had admittedly totally forgotten about this movie until I was reminded by a hilarious Cracked.com article, “5 Insane Moments from the Manliest Movie Ever Made“. Once reminded I felt obliged to track it down and relive the majesty.
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| Sharknado Horror, 83 Minutes, 2013 |
Jack the Giant Killer Adventure, 87 Minutes, 2013 |
Atlantic Rim Sci-Fi, 83 Minutes, 2013 |
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| Age of Dinosaurs Sci-Fi, 88 Minutes, 2013 |
AE: Apocalypse Earth Sci-Fi, 87 Minutes, 2013 |
2-Headed Shark Attack Horror, 83 Minutes, 2012 |
I’ve written about low budget schlock before, almost all of them produced by The Asylum, which has produced over 300 feature-length direct-to-video movies since 1997. They focus almost exclusively on producing “Mockbusters”: terrible films with budgets under a million dollars loosely based on current blockbusters and released days before the inspiring film hits theaters. Their films generally take less than four months from initial idea to final product. Recently they’ve become the go-to team to produce the SyFy Channel’s steady stream of increasingly ridiculous monster/disaster films. They’ve also slid into a weird niche producing ridiculous faith-based family films to cash in on the evangelical dollar.
Drama, 91 Minutes, 2011
The basic idea here was very good. Alexa (Cat Smit [IMDB]) is a pretty Dutch girl whose gay friend has killed himself. To discover why, she travels to his small hometown in Iowa and interviews people about their experiences being gay in middle-America.
“Jack the Giant Slayer” on IMDB
Adventure, 114 Minutes, 2013
A retelling of “Jack and the Beanstalk” the movie plays fast and loose with the particulars of the story but stays comfortably in the genre. It adds a beautiful, strong-willed princess; a heroic, selfless knight; a devious royal advisor and ups the giant-ante considerably. Instead of our hero outwitting a single giant we get a whole big bunch of giants!
